


Bitter Battery Acid

by Hello21



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 06:39:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3478178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hello21/pseuds/Hello21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some fluffy domesticated adult BatCat. </p><p>A typical morning at Wayne Manor, where Selina mistakenly drinks Bruce's coffee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bitter Battery Acid

Selina woke up and turned to feel that Bruce’s side of the bed was empty and cold, as though he hadn’t slept there. More than likely he didn’t, he was still on patrol when she went to bed. There was a small chance he did curl into bed with her for at least an hour, but she doubted that. She had tried to do the every night patrols with him, but she quickly discovered that she loved sleep more than she thought possible. Truthfully Selina felt alone in that matter, everyone else in this damn weird family seemed to be able to function beyond normal human levels on 5 hours of sleep. Bruce didn’t even need that much, he seemed to have found a way to function on coffee and willpower alone. It was weird and inhuman and Selina was really starting to hate waking up alone.

Selina looked at the clock that read 7:05am and groaned, but still managed to pull herself out of the cozy bed. She slipped on Bruce’s old robe and her slippers and headed to the kitchen. Alfred dressed in his neatly ironed suit, was starting to cook breakfast, so breakfast would be ready to serve at 8am. She guessed that he had been up since 6am at the latest and rolled her eyes at the thought. They were all a bunch of freaks. Alfred gave her nod and began preparing her coffee without a word. It was quickly discovered by all that Selina was not a morning person and no one should expect her to function like an actual human being, until later in the day. Alfred finished adding her cream and the sixth spoonful of sugar into her coffee and handed her the cup, Selina sipped it and smiled at the delicious sweetness. She nodded to Alfred in appreciation.

Selina walked down to the Batcave and shivered at the coldness, but continued down despite it. Bruce was at his obnoxiously large super computer and like usual was intensely working. She rolled her eyes at the sight of him.

He was still in his Batsuit, confirming that he not come to bed last night, not even for an hour. He hadn’t shaved yet and this week’s lack of sleep was beginning to show under his eyes. He was an absolute mess.

Bruce barely acknowledged Selina when she sat down in his lap and curled into his chest. She continued to drink her coffee as he intently stared at several screens, typing something in every few minutes. Selina finished her coffee and Bruce took it from her and placed the mug on the platform as he went grab his own cup. His stubble tickled her face and she giggled, she could see one of the corners of his mouth twitching up in a small smile as he went to drink his coffee. She grinned and leaned in to give him a proper morning wake up, but suddenly the computer started beeping and Bruce handed her his coffee, as he started to type furiously into the computer.

Selina rolled her eyes again, but still leaned slightly out of his way and held his cup patiently. Truthfully she was rather impress that he could work as though she wasn’t sitting in his lap. Not that she gave him much choice in the matter, but still it was impressive. She looked at the screens and sighed and without thinking went to take a sip from his cup.

Selina made a painful screech-like sound, as she spat the coffee back into the mug.

“Lovely,” Bruce commented in a dry sarcastic voice. Selina only glared up at him and fervently tried to wipe the taste from her mouth with the sleeve of his robe.

“What the hell is that?” She asked, staring at him in horror.

Bruce raised his eyebrow and looked at her as though she had lost her mind. “My coffee.” He stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“That is not coffee. That is battery acid…that is some bitter battery acid. How can you possibly drink that poison?” Selina just shuddered at the memory of the taste. She could still feel it in her mouth and all she wanted to do was drown herself in some mouthwash. She started to wipe her tongue again with the other sleeve.

“That’s funny coming from you.”

“Me?” Selina’s mouth hanged slightly open. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Please, you can’t even call what you drink coffee. It’s pure liquid sugar when you’re done with it.”

“So I like my coffee sweet.” Bruce snorted and Selina punched his arm. “Lots of people like their coffee sweet, there is a whole entire franchise built on the premise of sweet coffee. What you drink is poison, disgusting bitter battery acid poison.”

Bruce looked amused and took the mug from her hand and Selina raised her eyebrow in challenge. Without a word he drank his acid with one single gulp.

“Oh Bruce, don’t. That’s disgusting, I spat in that.” Selina exclaimed, disgust written on her face.

He only laughed at her. “You and I exchange spit on a daily basis.”

She rolled her eyes at him, but couldn’t keep the grin off her face. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Come here.”

“No. No, Bruce I’m serious I don’t want to taste more battery acid.” Selina said laughing, as Bruce leaned in to kiss her and she tried to maneuver her head out of the way. Bruce managed to cup her face and kiss her, Selina wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him fully back.

He pulled away and gave her a small grin. “See that wasn’t too bad.”

She rolled her eyes at him, but smiled back at him. “That’s because your acid coffee destroyed all my taste buds.”

The obnoxious computer started to beep again and Selina sighed. "Aren't you going to get that?"

"In a minute." Bruce murmured and continued to kiss her.


End file.
